The Tyranny of the Triptych (and Other Wall Art Atrocities That Scream 'I Gave Up')
Confessions of a Wallflower Whisperer: Why Your Walls Are Weeping Beige Tears (And How to Make Them Sing Opera)
Alright, you magnificent misfits!
You read the manifesto. You nodded so hard your neck probably still aches. You're ready to kick vanilla to the curb and embrace the glorious, technicolor chaos that is actual personality in your home. Bravo!
But let's talk about where so many well-intentioned design dreams go to die a slow, beige death: THE WALLS.
Oh, the walls. Those vast expanses of potential, so often treated like an afterthought, or worse, a dumping ground for "safe" choices that suck the soul right out of a room.
I'm talking about the art (or lack thereof) that whispers, "I bought this because it matched the sofa," or "My mother-in-law picked it out," or, God forbid, "It came as a set." Shudder.
Today, my fearless flock, we're staging an intervention for your vertical surfaces. We're liberating them from the shackles of:
The Dreaded Department Store Triptych:
You know the one. Three vaguely abstract canvases in tasteful-yet-tragic shades of grey and teal, usually depicting a blurry tree or some "inspirational" cursive word like "Gather" (as if we needed a sign to tell us what to do in a dining room).
NEWSFLASH: Your home is not a mid-range hotel lobby. That triptych isn't "sophisticated"; it's a surrender flag. Burn it. Or, you know, donate it to someone you mildly dislike.
Do this instead! Find a fabulously oversized art work - go big or go home, right?
The "It Fills the Space" Placeholder:
That generic landscape print you bought five years ago because the wall felt "too empty." Honey, an empty wall pulsing with anticipation is a thousand times more exciting than one cluttered with mediocrity.
Let it breathe until you find something that makes your heart do a little cha-cha.
Do this instead! Work with a local artist to create an unusual piece of art you LOVE!
The Scale Catastrophe:
Tiny art cowering on a massive wall, or a hulking piece overwhelming a delicate vignette. Scale is your superpower, people!
Go unexpectedly HUGE in a small powder room. Group a collection of smaller, eclectic pieces to create one massive statement.
Think of it like dressing your walls – you wouldn't wear a baby bonnet with a ballgown, would you? (Unless that's your specific brand of fabulous, in which case, werk.)
Do this instead! Hang wall art you truly love and forget matching it to the cushions or not ‘fitting in’! If you love it, then hang it! End of story.
So, what's a budding design iconoclast to do?
Think BEYOND the Canvas: Textiles, vintage movie posters, architectural salvage, a collection of hideous-yet-charming ceramic cats (I see you!), a neon sign proclaiming your love for tacos. If it can hang, it's fair game.
Go Personal, Go Weird: That bizarre portrait you found at a flea market? The finger painting your kid did that actually has some artistic merit (or is just hilariously bad)? Your grandmother's surprisingly risqué embroidery? YES. These are the things that tell YOUR story, not the story of "Aisle 7, HomeGoods."
Embrace the Salon Hang: Forget perfect grids (unless that's your rebellion, you beautiful paradox). Mix frames, sizes, mediums. Let it grow organically. It's a living gallery of your life, not a sterile museum exhibit.
Consider the "Negative Space" as Part of the Art: Sometimes, the most powerful statement is a single, perfectly placed piece on an otherwise unadorned wall. Let it command the room like a diva hitting her high C.
Your walls are craving drama, darling. They're begging for a story, a laugh, a gasp! They don't want to be wallpapered with your insecurities or your desire to "play it safe."
Buy Better Wall Art at Some of Our Fave Suppliers
Art Lovers Australia for original works by Australian artists, including abstract, photography, still life, figurative, pop art, and much more!
Blue Thumb Art for a curated collection of original works including aboriginal, mixed media, impressionism, florals + botanicals, and large format.
Carla Coulson Prints for divine florals with a difference, photography shot in France. Tres Chic! Darling, my personal fave!
Curatorial + Co will work with you one-on-one to curate all your art work needs from their exceptional catalogue of original artists including ceramists, textile artists, sculptors, and more.
If you are already working as an interior designer, then you may already have (or wish to have) trade accounts at other suppliers we love including La Grolla, Designer Boys Art, Fine Print Co, and Cooper Black. Contact them for TRADE ONLY details.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it: Find ONE wall in your home that's currently phoning it in. Just one. And vow to make it sing, scream, or seductively whisper something utterly, uniquely YOU.
Now, spill the tea in the comments: What's the most "vanilla" thing currently hanging on your walls? Or better yet, what's the most gloriously NO-VANILLA piece you own and adore? Let's inspire each other to banish the beige, one audacious art choice at a time!
Until next time, keep it spicy.
Love, Penelope xx
Chief Anti-Vanilla Officer